Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
