Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
