its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
