i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
