Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
