Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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