Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
