If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
