im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Screwed.edu
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
