Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
