But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this will be a night to untag.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
