So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
