So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
