hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Shame is for Republicans.
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