If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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