my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
