Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
