Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
