New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got inside last night via doggy door
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
