You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
