I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
