Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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