i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
