Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i think im in europe. pls send help
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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