i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
