She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
