I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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