Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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