He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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