How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
