you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
