my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
