Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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