i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize