is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
