That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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