Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
