So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
