I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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