i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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