I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
