My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
