You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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