I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
