I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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