Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
