i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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