dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
