The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
send nudes
from the living room?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
