Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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