the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
