There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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