based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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