Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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