Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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