This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize