I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
